Goodbye Stephanie

I woke up today to some very sad news. I checked my email to discover that a friend from the good old days had past away on Sunday. I met Stephanie at a party in high school. My friend Jorge had invited me to come to this hotel party, there wasn't a lot of people there, and I had dragged my friend Gord to come with me. There was maybe 10 people there at the most. There were two girls there that didn't really know anybody either, I guess somebody they knew had brought them along as well. They held up a sign saying "bass player wanted" so I applied, since I had just picked up playing the bass back then. Gord ended up being more interested than I was. We introduced ourselves, and we met Stephanie and Vanessa. Vanessa and Gord started talking about her band, which left me and Stephanie twiddling our thumbs, trying to get in on the conversation. So we started talking about music and school, teenage stuff. So they formed their band that night. The band didn't really work out. But we kept hanging out with them, we found out they too frequented this all ages club that Gord and I went to on occasion called Freak Show. So for the next while, we hung out with them every weekend.

At some point it's time to grow up, I started going to real bars, and avoided the all ages clubs, went to college made new friends, and we drifted away. A bunch of years ago, Gord out of the blue decides to give Vanessa a call to see what she's up to and she invites us to her boyfriend's party. We head over, and it's just like before, but more booze, and that was the last I saw of them, until I randomly found Vanessa on one of the social networking sites. Sent her off a message and we kept in touch via email for the next few years. She kept inviting me to parties, but I was always to busy to attend. But the last one she gave me a lot of notice. She called it the "Steph is the Best!" party. It was during the easter long weekend, I thought weird, maybe she's celebrating that Stephanie is back home from living in the UK for the past few years. Gord and I showed up, and we had pretty good time, but couldn't stay since we had other plans with some other people that night too. But we did end up leaving that party pretty late any ways. Fast forward today, and I now realize what that party actually meant, and now feel guilty for leaving that party. Before we left, I had promised that we should get together soon, since we all live so close to each other now. Stephanie seemed really excited about going to the pub by my house for Sunday night Karaoke, but I kept putting it off for making plans to do it. I could give you a millions of excuse of why I didn't try to make plans, but it's totally futile now. I feel bad about breaking that promise. That was the first time I had seen her in maybe 5 years, and I really wanted to hang out with her again soon. I wish I had known that she was sick, and I would have tried harder to make plans.

Stephanie was only 27, way too young to have what she had. Way too young to die. She had one of the most beautiful smiles I'd ever seen, and I always told her that, and how much I like her smile. It really could brighten any room. That is one thing I never forget about her.

R.I.P. Stephanie Ann Downs.

This was in the Today's Toronto Star, her obituary:
STEPHANIE ANN DOWNS July 23, 1979 - May 27, 2007 Stephanie died after a courageous 15 month fight with cancer. She left us the way she lived her life: with grace; dignity; a great sense of humour; and an incredible heart stopping smile. A graduate of Waterloo University (Psychology 2003), and Dalhousie University 2006 (Master of Library and Information Studies), Stephanie will be greatly missed by her spouse, the love of her life and best friend Christopher Tickner. She will also be greatly missed by her mother Judy, father Barry, brother Jake, and her aunts, uncles, cousins and many friends. Special thanks from the family to the many caring and professional health care service providers that we were privileged to meet during this trying time, especially Keisha Christian. Family and friends will be received at the OGDEN FUNERAL HOME, 4164 Sheppard Ave. E., Scarborough (east of Kennedy Rd.) on Thursday from 4-7 p.m. A private family service was held. In lieu of flowers, donations made to the Toronto Public Library Foundation would be appreciated by the family.